Maintaining Friendships in Adulthood

A close-up image of friends toasting with glasses, symbolizing the joy and celebration that accompanies nurturing adult friendships.

“We need to catch up soon"

This was a text from a close friend nearly a month ago. Yes, a month ago and both of us just couldn't find time to grab a dinner and actually catch up. Every single time, both of us were either deep neck into some adulthood shit or some random work would come up.

We realized we needed to prioritize our friendship, so we scheduled a dinner in our calendar (LOML)

Long story short, one of the major lesson that adulthood has taught me is that making friends is one thing, but maintaining those friendships is a whole other challenge.

Here's how I try to maintain my friendships in this weird phase called adulthood:

Adjust your expectations: Adult friendships won't mirror those from high school, but they can still be fulfilling. Understand that not every connection will be a perfect fit, and not everyone may have the capacity to invest in deep friendships.

Choose your inner circle wisely: When figuring out who to keep in your inner circle, and who to say “thank you, next” to, prioritize those who have your best interests at heart and let go of those who don't.

Schedule the time on your calendar: In adulthood, scheduling hangouts becomes essential. Prioritize your friendships by penciling in time together on your calendar. Once it's scheduled, commit to keeping the appointment no matter what.

Be the kind of friend you want to have: To have great friends, be one yourself. Reflect on what you value in friendship and strive to embody those qualities for others. If you seek loyal, supportive friends, be loyal and supportive in return.

Get a little creative: Spending time with friends in adulthood requires creativity. Meaningful moments don't always require a full weekend getaway. Your hangouts might be shorter or at odd times, but the effort is still valuable!

Adult friendships do look different, but their benefits actually make the rest of your life more fruitful and enjoyable.