The Science of Self-Compassion
Imagine you are giving one of the most important presentations of your life. All eyes are on you, your notes are in your hand, your heat seems to want to come out of your chest. You went in prepared but heyo, you get so nervous that you blank out. What will be going through your mind in this situation?
We didn’t paint this scary picture just to make you anxious. Chances are, when you make mistakes like in such presentations, or even in small things, we become our harshest critics. All kindness goes out of the window and we berate ourselves.
The way we treat and speak to ourselves can influence our emotions to a very large extent. This is where self-compassion comes in. We can already imagine the eye-rolls right now. Self-compassion? Isn’t that just being nice to yourself and cutting yourself slack? We’re here to bust some myths about self-compassion and show how it can be a very useful skill to hone:
Self-compassion doesn’t mean being easy on yourself❎
Self-compassion has three components to it: mindfulness, common humanity, and self-kindness. While many of us might think that being kind to ourselves means letting ourselves off easy, that’s not true. When we’re self-compassionate, we allow ourselves more room to accept our mistakes without judgement. The mindfulness part of self-compassion also lets us be aware of ourselves and our behaviour.
It is not narcissistic🤔
If we’re that nice to ourselves, aren’t we just being selfish and narcissistic? Turns out, that’s not the case. Our compassion for ourselves also translates into compassion for others. When we’re able to hold that space for ourselves to exist just as we are, we do the same for others. Also, self-compassion is different from self-esteem. It isn’t about feeling better than others but just accepting that all of us come bejewelled with our tiny imperfections.
It has a lot of benefits😋
What use is having self-compassion anyway? Well, it has been studied as a scientific concept for decades now. The results are in and self-compassion might actually be really good for you. It improves our psychological well-being, can help lower anxiety, and boost self-worth.
It promotes our growth📈
A lot of us might also fear that if we’re self-compassionate, we might just go along with whatever comes our way without challenging ourselves. We might end up becoming complacent. On the other hand, self-compassion allows us to view our strengths and weaknesses realistically. This can motivate us to act and also be open to new challenges.